Went to the doc today...

I went to the GI doctor today. I had been seeing a doc up here in Ogden but she didn't seem too helpful so I set an appointment to see my old GI down in Salt Lake. My friend Alisha drove me so I didn't have to take a long bus or train ride, I am getting so sick of not having a car. But anyway Alisha kept me company while I waited unusually long. The doc was pretty busy and It seemed like I was the last patient of the day. We talked about what was going on and decided to get me back on the remicade infusion that I was on before I moved to Ogden. It will be some work to try and get the infusions done up here but I think it will be worth it to get my crohns disease under control again. When I am flaring all the time it really makes an impact on all of my daily activities. So we talked about it all and she actually gave me prescriptions to manage my symptoms, where the doc up here was reluctant to do. I don't know what the harm is in giving someone meds to help with diarrhea and nausea/vomiting. Seriously helping the symptoms is half the battle with Crohns disease.  So now I just need to hear back from them on Monday and see what we are going to do in regards to the infusion. This means I don't have to give myself shots at home anymore Yay!

I also found out that I will be having the left lobe of my thyriod taken out on the 31st of this month (January) this is another reason we want to get the crohns under control. Having a major surgery and flaring at the same time is not really a good combination. So I guess I have a lot of things going on this month in regards to my health. But really it is nothing new. You get to a certain point where all the medication and doc visits and even surgeries feel kind of routine.

I was also able to get my doc to fill out some papers for my disability lawyer. I have been fighting disability for over 2 years now and we have finally got notice that social security is getting close to set a trial date. This will be a huge ease on the mental stress I have had not being able to work. It is kind of amazing the feeling you get when a doc actually validates everything you have been going through on paper. I just hope the date can be set soon and I can put this fight behind me. I am still in awe about how the whole process has gone, getting denied so many times in the face of what my body has gone through. I know they have to have some sort of system down to weed out those that are trying to take advantage of the "system" but I have had so many medical records to back my case up. Its like they want you to have to spend money on a lawyer and go through the whole hoopla. I remember being so naive when I first applied thinking that I would actually be approved. With all hope I will get approved this time around and get it all settled. My lawyer is positive I will be approved, but I am to the point where I don't want to count the eggs in my basket just yet.

Today was the first time I have been out of the house in weeks. I know its sad to admit it but it is true. Even though it was just for a doctors appointment, it felt good to get dressed and ready and get out. Even my husband joked with me that he forgot what I looked like with make-up on. How sad is that? I know I really need to work on some things... like staying motivated and not being so depressed. It is just hard to do when your body seems to fight you at every turn. I guess I need to start fighting back. I can't let all of my health issues bring me down like they have been, that is just a hard and lonely road. I just have to remember that I am not alone. I have four beautiful daughters and a wonderful husband that help me and support me in every way that they know how. I also have many great friends, those whom have stuck by my side through thick and thin, even when I try to push them away. They just keep coming back and I love them for it. Like my friend Alisha, she has helped me through so much, and today she got to know more about crohns disease that she probably ever wanted to know. She was also by my side during one of my thyroid biopsy's. All she kept saying was how strong I am... well I disagree with here there. I don't think I am very strong. But I do what I have to do, or try to do what I have to to maintain any health I have left. Its kind of like a fight or flight mode I guess. I only show that to people I have to though. I am a pretty big wimp if you ever really get to know me. Ask my husband he will tell you.