Here I am...

Last night I had the worst paic attack in my life. I couldn't breathe and was shaking and sweaty and could hardly talk. In an attempt to calm me down and try to get me to listen my husband began to lecture me. At least it felt like lecturing. He began telling me that since I was diagnosed with crohns disease 4 years ago he feels I have given up on life. I wanted to yell at him and tell him he was wrong, but there was some truth in what he had said. I did give up. I did feel helpless in regards to what my body was putting me through. I was hiding from what I had become. I lost myself, and I dont know where or who I am anymore. So here I am. In an attempt to find myself again I will write.